We all have some kind of fear inside us. But sometimes those fears can hold us from reaching our full potential.
Today in this post we’ll discuss how you can overcome any kind of fear and self-doubt.
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Types of fear-
There are basically two types of fear.
The physical one is actually not bad and helps you protect yourself. Let’s assume you’re in a situation that could be dangerous for you and you’re getting afraid of it, which, I think, is important because it’s trying to protect you from the unknown- the possible danger.
For example, you want to swim in the deep water but you don’t know how to swim because you never did. And now you’re afraid of it.
Is it a genuine feeling to have? Yes, because if you don’t know how to swim, you can’t swim no matter how motivated or passionate you are. If you still decide to go directly into deep water, you can hurt yourself. Badly.
Instead, you would want to learn and practice it in the shallow water, and then slowly you will be able to swim in deep water as well. Once you do this, your “physical fear” related to swimming will be gone forever.
Now let’s talk about the Psychological fear.
This is not real. This kind of fear can lead to self-doubt if not addressed at the right time.
What causes psychological fear?
1- Past experiences
We all have some good experiences and bad experiences in our past but sometimes some things can make us doubt ourselves.
We feel anxious without any reason and start doubting everything we see or hear. Sometimes our own abilities.
I used to be a very confident and bright student in the school but for some reason, we had to change our location and so I had to change my school as well. When I took admission to this new school, everything changed suddenly.
I had no friends and the teachers weren’t supportive.
I tried to fit in as much as I can but I couldn’t.
I studied there for 6 years and barely made any good friends. I lived in a small area so didn’t have many options and my parents thought it was all normal so they didn’t do anything either.
I am not saying the school was bad but there’s no such thing as one size fits all. One thing that can be beneficial for someone can be harmful to the other.
This experience of mine made me hate the school.
This affected me in so many ways. Both my mental and physical health struggled. I sometimes still struggle because of this experience.
2- Parents’ behavior
All parents do their best for their children but sometimes their behavior can cause more damage than you think.
How they are living together can make a huge impact on their child’s life and if their relationship is not good with each other then the chances are their child will suffer from this as well.
3- Childhood trauma
If you often doubt your abilities then the reason could be your childhood experience such as getting bullied at school, lack of support from parents and/or teachers, etc.
If you want to read more about it, this article may help.
There are different types of psychological fears that include-
Fear of public speaking, job interviews, what will people say if I start my dream business and it does not work out for some reason, what if my parents won’t support me, and trust me, this list will never end.
We start living in “what ifs” and start doubting on our abilities.
Here is a step-by-step guide on how you can overcome self-doubt and fear
How To Overcome Fear And Self Doubt In 5 Easy Steps
1- Stop comparison
In this age of social media, we often compare our real life with others’ reel life. We don’t know the struggle of the other person we’re comparing ourselves to.
We don’t know what the real life of that person looks like.
No matter how good you’re doing in your real life, comparison can make you look like you are nothing.
2- Start working on yourself
If you still want to compare yourself with someone then I’d rather compare you with yourself. It will at least help you grow.
What is something that makes you scared? Public speaking, A job interview, or maybe something else? Let’s say you find public speaking scary but you want to overcome that fear so you can speak in front of many people. The first step would be to believe in yourself and say that “I can do this.”
Then instead of thinking how to speak in front of many people take a small step and speak in front of your colleagues or even better in front of your close friends and ask if they can give you constructive feedback. If you find it awkward, You can even start it by practicing in front of a mirror in the beginning.
3- Remember your past achievements
What is your past achievement that you’re proud of? No matter how small it is. It will help you believe in yourself and in your abilities then you will no longer be afraid to set a new BIG goal for yourself.
This is indeed a very important step.
4- Don’t take everything personally
Some people will praise you while others criticize you. It’s your job to examine both of them wisely. If you can improve yourself with that criticism then great but if not and you think they are just saying it out of jealousy then avoid that person by setting a healthy boundary and don’t take that personally.
Always remember what they are saying is just a point of view and at the end of the day, it doesn’t have value if you decide not to give it any.
5- Don’t rely on external validation
My last point is to not rely on external validation. Often, we don’t believe in what we are doing and therefore ask for external validation.
If you are just asking for someone else’s opinion which I think is fine but if you don’t have enough trust in your work and then asking for an external opinion then this might be a good time to ask yourself why you are doing it in the first place? and what is YOUR opinion about it? Because that matters the most.
Don’t just rely on others to accept you or like you.
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