How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others?
Whether it is about our looks, personality, happiness, success, relationships, or even money, we all compare ourselves to others.
And the moment we start to compare ourselves to others, the moment we begin to feel low and anxious and start overthinking.
We get tons of questions in our mind such as:
- Why don’t I have a life like them?
- Why I am not as happy as them?
- Why I am not as wealthy or born into a wealthy family as them?
- Why don’t I have a good relationship?
- Why I am so unlucky?
And so on.
As a young kid, you might have experienced that when someone (that could be your best friend or a sibling) gets better grades or a job than you, you get compared by your parents, teachers, relatives, friends, and other people.
It happened to me many times, and without knowing that everyone has different passions and dreams in life, you are told that you need to get good grades and a job like that person.
As kids, we learn what we see and hear.
And when we grow and become adults, we start to compare ourselves without even realizing how it affects our minds.
First, someone else compares us with others, but when we grow up, we start to compare ourselves to other people who we think are better than us.
It’s easy to scroll through social media and think that that person has a better life because they are able to travel anywhere they want, their financial situation is better than you, they have no debt etc., etc.
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So, why do we compare ourselves to others in the first place?
Before I go ahead and talk about how to stop comparing yourself to others, let’s first see some reasons why we compare ourselves in the first place.
- You consider yourself “unlucky”
- You are not where you want to be in life yet.
- You are comparing your real life to someone else’s reel life.
- You haven’t found your life purpose yet. (this is the most important factor as if you have nothing to do, you will think about things that are lacking in your life).
While scrolling through social media, you start comparing yourself to others.
Limiting our time on these apps can help, but it’s a temporary escape because if you don’t understand the main reason and work on your mind, no matter where you go or what you do, you’ll always compare yourself with others.
Even if you are sitting in a room with 20 people, you will find something to compare yourself to. It’s not just limited to social media.
That’s why working on your understanding and mind is so so important, and that’s what we are going to do today.
How to stop comparing yourself to others
1) Know your story is different
We all have different experiences in our lives- some good experiences and some bad ones that we don’t even want to remember.
All those experiences made you what you are today.
Maybe the worst experience of your life pushed you to do something that completely changed your life – for the better.
just because you are going through hard times, you are comparing yourself to the person whose story is entirely different from yours- their choices, environment, background, everything is far different from yours.
Most of the time, we don’t know about their struggles and the tough decisions they made throughout their lives.
We compare our worst situations to their best, and in most cases, it leads to sadness and overthinking.
All I want you to know is that your story is different, and use that past experience to shape you for your better future.
2) You are unique in your own way
You might know this already but sometimes we need someone to remind us.
Always remember that you have your own likes and dislikes, your own talent, and your own skills that no one else has.
So why not use that to make something you are proud of rather than trying to be like someone else. Be unique in your damn way.
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3) Have a learning attitude
Sometimes when we see someone happier and more successful than us, it gets very easy to compare ourselves with them, and we start to get jealous and point out every negative thing that the person has.
But is it right? Does it benefit you in any way in the long run? Are you getting anything out of it? The answer is NO!
So why waste your time spreading negative energy when we can choose to congratulate and learn from them.
And the most simple way to do it is to put yourself in their place and think about it. You will get my point.
Having a learning attitude will take you far in life.
4) Perfectionism is a myth
We miss a lot of opportunities just because we don’t feel ready or wait for the perfect moment to come.
Most of the time, we try to do everything so perfectly that we forget that it’s okay to make mistakes, and as humans, we learn as we go.
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5) Believe in your journey
Everything takes time. If you want something to happen, give it some time and never get discouraged if something doesn’t work out instantly.
Believe in yourself and trust the process; everything you want will work out when it is supposed to be.
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6) Celebrate others’ success
Like I said before, jealousy won’t take you any far in life, and celebrating others’ success knowing that your day will come soon makes you a more happy and generous person, and everyone wants to connect with such souls rather than people who envy others success.
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7) Comparison is a choice
Whether you want to compare yourself with others or not, ultimately, the choice is yours.
Being aware of your thoughts is the key here.
Whenever you find yourself comparing to another person, instantly remind yourself that you are unique in your own way as they are, and there’s always room for growth.
But accepting yourself does not mean you stop working on yourself; instead, find new ways to better yourself so you can live your life to the fullest.
8) Avoid people who always have something negative to say
Even if you try not to compare yourself to others, some people are always ready to do it for you.
They will tell you everything you lack rather than appreciating what you have already accomplished.
You can always choose to avoid them by setting a healthy boundary.
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