Do you often feel that you are self sabotaging happiness?
You want to live a life where you feel content and have peace. But do you know there are a tons of people out there who self sabotage happiness (yes! Their own happiness). Why would someone sabotage their own happiness? Well, because a) They have no idea that they are doing it or b) they don’t know how to stop doing it even if they are aware of it.
Nobody wants to live a life that is unfulfilled, stressful and full of unlimited drama every day.
The truth is nobody sabotages their happiness on purpose. In most cases, you won’t even realize it when you do it and come in our own way unconsciously.
When you need to be the best friend with yourself you become someone who criticizes yourself consistently, doesn’t trust yourself, and most importantly does not listen to your inner voice which leads to an unfulfilled and unhappy life.
Today, in this post, we will together figure out if you are self sabotaging happiness and if you find out that you are, then what you can do to stop that and become that friend who is supportive and no matter how difficult the time is, won’t ever leave your side. I just don’t want you to read another blog and won’t make any changes.
So, here are ways to find out if you are self sabotaging happiness.
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6 Ways To Find Out If You Are Self Sabotaging Happiness
1) Negative Self Image
How do you perceive yourself? How do you react when anything goes wrong? Do you often start being too hard on yourself because the outcome did not meet your expectations? If so, then you might be self sabotaging happiness.
This particular topic relates to me a lot as I had struggled with negative self image and low self worth for most of my life in the past. I must say I am working on myself and seeing real improvements.
And I have realized that our biasness plays a huge role when it comes to self image.
Because the thing is, would you have the same reaction if your best friend were in the exact same situation as you, or would you show some care and concern, or maybe treat and motivate your friend to do what is best for her? But we forget these things when something unexpected happens to us.
There are various factors that cause negative self image that includes-
- Past experiences.
- Negative/limited feedback from other people.
- Pressure from family and society.
- Our own personal point of view.
- Blaming others and yourself when something goes wrong.
Next time when you find yourself being too hard and talking negatively about yourself, try out the following practices, and I’m sure it will help you eliminate your negative self-image:
- Take your time and stay calm.
- Challenge your thoughts.
- Remember your strengths.
- Talk to someone you know will support you.
- Show love to yourself.
- Be kind to yourself. Always. Say words of encouragement.
- Be patient.
- Celebrate small wins.
- Avoid and limit your contact with people who tries to put you down.
- Try affirmations.
Here is 100 positive affirmation
2) You Don’t Fulfill Your Promises
Did I mention promises you make to yourself are more important than the ones you make to other people?
A lot of people make promises without fully committing to their goals. Before setting goals next time, be honest with yourself, are you setting goals for yourself and making promises just because you are pressured to do so or seeing someone doing the exact same thing?
Below are the some reasons that may be holding you back from fulfilling your promises you make to yourself:
- Lack of commitment
- Over commitment.
- Unforeseen circumstances
- Lack of self trust
Once you find out what your reason is you can work towards that and finally be able to fulfill your promises.
3) You Are Depending On Someone Else
Whether financially, emotionally, or for your happiness, if you are depending on someone else, you are giving control of your happiness, and indirectly self sabotaging happiness.
Sometimes situations like this are out of our control as we are depending on someone else for our finances.
In such situations you can start slow and build your own financial life. Remember it will be a slow progress but much rewarding in the future and you will thank yourself for taking this step.
4) You Fear Failure
Negative past experiences can cause fear of failure. However, there might be other reasons that can cause it, but past experiences can have a huge impact on the mind.
And that’s why it’s important to take small steps and work towards reframing your mindset. If you have a past where you failed at something, see it as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than seeing it as a complete failure.
At first, when you think of doing something or starting a new project, take smaller steps and take your time to learn more and more about it.
5) You Fear Success
Fear of success may not be as common as fear of failure, but it is still debilitating. People who struggle with the fear of success often have a deep-seated fear of the unknown and the major changes in their life that come with success.
They may also worry about the pressure and scrutiny that comes with success and fear that they won’t be able to sustain the success or that it will change them in negative ways or what others, especially people around them, might think of them, or maybe they think they are not good enough to have more than they have now.
This is another main reason people self sabotage happiness and therefore continues to choose to live in their comfort zone so they can feel safe and more secure.
That’s why it’s important to work on your mindset and question limiting beliefs, and understand that in order to manifest your dream life, you gotta work hard to achieve that. This way, you may be able to overcome the barrier that holds you back and embrace your true potential.
Cam @VicoliandCaffè says
This post gave me a bit to reflect one, especially the point number 2. Most of the time I struggle to meet the end of my goals and yes, indeed, I end up feeling like something quite wrong with life, leaving with a weird sense of emptiness, that can be just another way to take my happiness out.
I related to point 1 quite a lot too, it reminded me of some old version of me
The point 3 is agreeable in general but miss a lot of context and I disagree a bit with it. More often than not people don’t give others financial power over them just for easy reasons.
Your comment made me a lot to think about especially on point 3. Thank you so much for taking your time to comment, Cam. I really appreciate it. 🙂