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This post is going to be a bit personal as I feel its important to share all the things to help you understand better.
From our childhood, when someone appreciates you and praises you for your work whether in school or at home, it feels great. We want to attract more and more people to appreciate you and make you feel seen and loved.
It is the best feeling when your parents appreciate you when you get good grades at school or win that competition.
Or your teacher appreciates you in front of all the other students.
But as we grow older, we want this pattern to continue, we constantly want to be seen and feel loved.
And you are not a bad person to want all these things, its normal to feel that way.
If I talk about myself, I have seen both the situations. I was appreciated for my good grades at school and I was put down by people for various things (such as for my weight and now work for example).
In many of my previous posts, I had mentioned many times that I had been a skinny girl throughout my school and college days. No matter where I go, they would not think twice before passing comments on me and telling me how skinny I am.
I figured it has nothing to do with being concerned.
I went from being an enthusiastic confident girl to being shy and someone with no self-confidence and self esteem.
That happened a lot during my teenage years. I already knew that I was skinny. I was working on that. I made sure to get all the tests done to make sure there aren’t any issues going on (found out I was perfectly fine, and all my siblings are like this too so doctors told me I have high metabolism and most likely its genetics and theres nothing to worry about).
That was a relief. But that was not the end.
Our society has this image of beauty that we must follow and if you are not in a certain shape and size, you get bullied by people you trust and care about. Sometimes even in your own house.
And it is the worst feeling ever. I am not shy to admit that it hurts. A lot. You cry and somehow want to get your life together as soon as possible so you stop being judged and so they accept you.
We want to be accepted by people because we are afraid to be left alone.
But even though I always wanted to feel accepted or loved as a teenage girl, as I grew older (in my late teenage years), I would question this a lot and ask myself tons of questions like why they cant love me the way I am or why they dont support me to persue my dreams.
I belong to a family where you are supposed to choose your major in engineering, doctor, or accounting otherwise people around you would not take you seriously, they would think that you are not serious about your future.
It happened to me as well when I found out math is not my favorite subject and I am not good at it. Instead I wanted to do something on my own.
Well, I would not get into details but I got into graphic designing and blogging and felt like I was alone in my decisions without any support.
Fast forward, its been a solid 4 years working online and supporting myself financially.
Over the years, learning and after seeing all this, I have gotten better at how not to worry about what people think of you and make your own decisions confidently.
But it was not easy, there were sleeping nights, tears and what not but I feel that I have come so far even though I still think theres a long way to go.
If you can relate to any of this I have said above, here are 5 signs you are worrying about being judged.
5 Signs You Are Worrying About Being Judged
- – You often over explain yourself.
- – You seek out external validation and therefore, its hard for you to make decisions yourself.
- – You get upset/angry easily when someone criticizes you. (It was me for the longest time).
- – You focus on pleasing people instead of doing what is good for you. (you keep people first while making decisions).
- – You get way too worried about making wrong choices.
If this is you, now we will talk about how to change that. It’s a slow process and you might not be able to change that overnight. Please have patience and you will get there, I promise.
How To Stop Worrying About What People Think of You
1) Its Not Always About YOU
It took me sooo long to realize that when someone says something about YOU, it doesnt mean it is really about you. Maybe they are just projecting their beliefs and opinions on you which may or may not be true.
When someone judges you, it’s often not just about you. Their judgment can be influenced by their experiences, beliefs, environment, desire and even their mood at that moment.
Most of the time people don’t even have enough information about you and they just judge you based on their limited information and knowledge.
And we have the power to NOT make their reality as our own.
So, it’s important to remember next time that their judgment may not accurately reflect who you are as a person. It’s like looking at a painting from only one angle you don’t see the whole picture.
2) You Know Yourself Better Than Anyone Else
You know your strengths and weaknesses better than anyone else and it is a power you have. We all are good at something and not-so-good at other things.
In everyday life, knowing your strengths and weaknesses helps you focus on what makes you unique and happy, rather than worrying about what others might say or think about you.
You can write down 10 things/skills you have that make you you. It will help you understand what you are good at and start focusing on them more.
3) Be okay with people to mis-understand you
Another way you can stop worrying about what people think of you is allow them to mis-understand you.
Just like you can’t control so many other things in life, you can’t control how others perceive you. You might be the most genuine, kind-hearted person, but someone might still misunderstand you. And that’s not your fault.
For example: I am doing this blogging as my career full-time and not a lot of people get it and its okay. Some people just dont understand and they make assumptions based on their experience and knowledge but I can see their point of view as well. I know their exposure related to my field has been limited. I dont take their opinion personally and no longer let this define myself.
People come from different backgrounds, experiences, and beliefs. So, what makes sense to you might not make sense to someone else. It’s like trying to explain a jokesome people will laugh, and others won’t get it, and that’s okay.
At the end of the day how you believe in yourself and in your abilities is everything.
I hope this post will help you stop worrying about what people think of you and focus on your growth and becoming a better version of yourself.
- Here are some related posts to check out: Confidence Challenge: 21 Not-So-Common Ways To Be A More Confident Person.
- How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (8 easy steps).
- Self Sabotaging Happiness: 5 Reasons You Are Doing It & How To Stop It.
- How To Overcome Fear And Self Doubt.
- 7 Powerful Personality Growth Tips To Completely Transform Your Life.
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